How To Handle Sneaky Kids Who Hack Parental Controls

Josh*, a tech-savvy dad, thought he had everything covered—screen time limits, app restrictions, even bedtime settings on his 15-year-old daughter's phone.

But then, he found out something surprising.

She had been staying up late on her phone—despite the controls he'd put in place.

Young teen boy is wearing headphones and looking at a computer while laying on his bed.

How this dad responded

Instead of freaking out or immediately taking her phone away, he played it smart.

He waited a few days.
He thought about how she might have done it.
He had a calm conversation.

"I know you've been up at night using your phone. And I think I know how you're doing it, but I want you to tell me first how you got around the settings."

She admitted that she had simply changed the date and time settings on the phone—tricking the parental controls into thinking it was still daytime.

Then Josh and his daughter had a good conversation about why the bedtime settings were important. That talk opened the door to something much bigger. They discussed:

Why sleep is critical for mental and physical health.
Why self-regulation is more powerful than any filter or control.
Why sometimes we need technology—like bedtime settings—to help us control our technology use.

This teachable moment helped her recognize that technology itself isn’t the problem—it’s how we use it. Josh and his daughters learned that sometimes we need controls to help us manage our technology use.

This is an example of using tech for good—not as a punishment, but as a tool to support healthy habits.

The bigger lesson: Why internal filters matter more than parental controls

Josh’s older daughter had already learned these lessons.

She voluntarily turns her phone over to him at night—not because she’s forced to, but because she understands the impact of late-night screen time on her mental health.

Where did she learn that?

Brain Defense: Digital Safety.

After watching the Brain Defense videos, the Brain Gang had convinced her to develop healthy tech habits. She understood how important it was to control screen time, and that technology should serve us, not the other way around.

While this is a prime example of how parental controls can fail—and exactly why we never recommend relying on parental controls alone—I like how Josh and his daughters learned that sometimes we do need controls to help us control our technology use.

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Parental controls: Helpful, but not foolproof

Josh’s story is a great example of how kids find creative ways to bypass parental controls—sometimes in ways we don’t expect.

*Josh is not his real name

Another parent shared a different kind of experience—one that highlights why parental controls can help, but ultimately, kids need to develop their own internal filter.

**When parental controls work too well**

A mom told us about her teenage son’s trip to Europe with a school group using an MMGuardian phone. However, this phone’s date and time settings could only be changed within the parent app. He had no ability to adjust them.

That’s great for keeping kids from tricking the system—but it also created an unexpected challenge.

Because the phone’s usage hours were locked to their home time zone, it became practically useless abroad for most of the day. The parent tried to send a command through the parent app to adjust the settings—but since the phone was “offline” due to time restrictions, it couldn’t receive the command.

The only solution? Trust

His mom had to wait until the morning, when the phone “woke up” according to the home time zone, so it could finally process the change (which was the middle of the night there).

That’s when she faced a decision: Should she disable parental controls altogether?

In the end, she had to remove all restrictions so her teen could access travel-related apps and use the phone when needed.

And at that moment, the only thing left to rely on was trust.

Trust her child would use the wisdom they had been taught about digital safety.
Trust that years of conversations she and her husband had had with him would guide good choices.
Trust that even without restrictions, their child had the self-regulation to use technology wisely.

Because at some point, every child will be without parental controls. Whether it’s at school, on a friend’s device, or later in adulthood, they’ll face digital choices without safeguards in place.

Big takeaway! That’s why teaching kids to develop their own internal filter is the most important digital safety strategy of all.

The lifejacket analogy: Why parental controls alone aren’t enough

This situation evokes a lesson from a beach in Massachusetts with a surprising rule:

🚫 No flotation devices allowed.

Why? Because floaties create a false sense of security.

They aren’t designed for lifesaving and can fail unexpectedly.
They can slide off, pop, or even trap a drowning child underwater.
They often cause parents to let their guard down, thinking their child is safe.

But U.S. Coast Guard-approved life jackets are allowed.

Why? Because they’re built and tested for real protection—keeping a child’s head above water—even if they’re unconscious.

Parental controls: Lifejackets or floaties?

Parental controls can be a little like floaties. They’re useful. They add a layer of protection that can stop accidental exposure. But they’re not foolproof. Some kids work around them. Apps can change settings. And no filter can replace an engaged parent.

So, the no-floatie policy at that beach? It ensures parents stay eagle-eyed, actively keeping their kids safe in the water instead of relying on a floatie that could fail.

This is exactly how we should think about parental controls—parents can’t just “set it and forget it.” Kids still need guidance, trust, and an internal filter.

The Coast Guard-approved approach to digital safety

So, what does strong digital safety look like?

Think of it as using a Coast Guard-approved lifejacket—parental controls paired with active involvement. Keeping your child safer online is about layers of protection. Here’s what that looks like:

Have the conversations before the conflict. Don’t wait until a rule is broken—talk in advance about why limits exist. The Brain Gang from our Brain Defense: Digital Safety course can help!
Use a phone or parental control app that prioritizes safety—but know its limitations. Like all tech, this comes with trade-offs that parents should understand before relying on it completely (like the stories above). This is one layer of digital safety.
Give kids the why behind tech rules. Filters and parental controls matter, but a strong internal filter is even more powerful. Kids who understand why healthy tech habits matter are more likely to follow through on their own.

Brain Defense: Digital Safety

This is exactly why we created Brain Defense: Digital Safety—to equip kids with the skills and wisdom they need to navigate the digital world.

Brain Defense is a digital course that equips kids ages 7–11 with the tools they need to:

Build self-discipline with screen time to help control time, choose content, and create balance.
Establish safe habits to avoid digital dangers like porn, predators and bullies.
Practice good digital citizenship by fostering kindness, integrity, and respect.

At the end of the day, no filter, setting, or app is more powerful than an engaged parent and a child who has been equipped with the skills to make wise choices.

So use the best tech tools available, but don’t rely on them alone. Teach your child how to swim safely in the digital world.

Brain Defense: Digital Safety Curriculum - Family Edition

"Parents are desperate for concepts and language like this to help their children. They would benefit so much from this program - and I think it would spur much needed conversations between parents and children.” --Jenet Erikson, parent

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