Playing Offense Against Porn (to Protect Kids Online)

by Kristen A. Jenson

Which is better, offense or defense?

When you're playing offense, you're trying to move the ball down the field to score points. A team that is revved up and on the offense is more likely to win as long as they can also defend their goal line.

We need to help our kids win against porn!

Both offense and defense are needed to win, but in the game against porn, let's play an offensive game in order to protect kids online.

Playing an Offensive Game against Porn

What does playing offense look like? It’s all about being proactive and deliberate. It means:

• Not waiting until your child (hopefully) comes to you to report exposure to porn (which most kids won’t do unless you've asked them to);
• Getting out in front of the problem and setting your child’s attitude and expectations before the porn industry does it for you;
• Knowing the enemy and how predatory the porn industry is when it comes to hooking more kids;
• Not (totally) relying on the defensive strategy of filters to keep kids safe;
• Giving your kids a game plan for winning against pornography!

Don't Leave it to the Porn "Professionals"

Educate Empower Kids recently released a new video. It portrays a mom who is uncomfortable answering an innocent question from her young son: “What is sex?” Instead, she turns off the TV news and sends him up to his room with his tablet.

Bad move.

Now who is he going to ask about sex? You guessed it! The Internet search engine.

After he types in the question, a team of four adults representing the porn industry appear and assure the mom that they’ll "take it from here." Which is exactly what is happening to kids day in and day out.

If you don’t tell your kids about sex and it’s counterfeit, pornography, they'll definitely learn it from the Internet porn  "professionals."

Risks versus Benefits

Are there potential risks for bringing up the subject too soon?

I hear this question all the time and it's a valid one. But maybe parents should consider early talks about pornography like an inoculation—

Introducing your child to pornography in a safe and controlled way so that they can be prepared to defend themselves against it when they encounter the real thing.

Wouldn't you prefer your child learn about pornography from you rather than from a peer (or a peer's older sibling) with a mobile device?

Real Parents Choose to Play Offense

Many parents have become convinced that it’s better to be your child’s first introduction to what pornography is, rather than have to play catch up later when a child’s curiosity and attitudes have already led them into viewing porn.

• A father, Nick, told me that his 9 year old daughter had done searches on their old iPhone that they let the kids to play with. He regretted that he and his wife had not been the first one to teach her about the purpose of sex--pornography had gotten to their daughter first.
• A mom, Karen, said that she has become more proactive with her younger kids and wishes she had begun talking to her oldest son sooner about why and how to reject pornography.
• Another father, Evan, is trying to help get the “porn-proofing” message out to other parents so that someday when his little girls grow up, they’ll find boys to marry who haven’t fallen prey to the porn industry.

Out of the Dark, Into the Light

Let’s bring pornography out of the dark, where it has power, and into the light where our kids have power. Do we have another choice if we are going to protect our kids online?

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