3 Surprising Reasons Why Girls Watch Porn

In a world where consumption of explicit content has become commonplace, many parents still cling to the belief that it's primarily a "boy problem." However, the truth is that girls are not immune to the pull of pornography.

The shocking statistics

The numbers don’t lie. Girls are looking at porn in large numbers.

• Research indicates that as of 2021, 57% of females aged 14-18 have viewed pornography.
• According to Pornhub’s 2022 Year in Review, 36% of their worldwide viewership was female, an increase of 51% since 2014. This only captures users with registered accounts, and an overwhelming majority of women who frequent porn sites never register for an account.

These stats paint a vivid picture that porn is not just a boy problem. A significant amount of females view porn as well, and actively seek it out.

Age of exposure

SheRecovery conducted a survey of 1,321 anonymous women volunteers who admitted viewing porn. Respondents shared their age of first exposure:

• 7 years old or younger: 11.3%
• 8-12 years old: 46.9%
• 13-17 years old: 29.3%
• 18 years or older: 12.5%

A little math shows that of the respondents, 58.2% had seen porn by the time they were 12 years old. By the time they were seventeen, 77.5% had viewed porn.

Similar outcomes were found in a UK focus group. The UK Children’s Commissioner records:

“The survey found that, of the young people who said that they had ever seen online pornography, the average age at which they had first seen it was 13.  There is no significant difference by gender; girls are as likely as boys to have seen pornography at this age.”

Why do girls watch porn?

The reasons why girls turn to porn can seem enigmatic. However, the UK focus group removes much of the mystery of why girls watch porn.

Reason #1: Pressure to conform

One significant reason girls explore pornography is the pressure they face from boys. In today's digital age, adolescents are exposed to a myriad of explicit content that shapes their understanding of sex and relationships.

Consumption of porn leads to unhealthy expectations and behaviors. Consequently, girls feel compelled to watch pornography to conform to these expectations, believing it's the only way to fit in or maintain a relationship.

Peer pressure to watch porn can come from all peers, not just boys. One 16-year-old girl in the UK focus group said,

“In year 9 (US grade 8 equivalent), I remember people being picked on because they hadn’t watched porn before, and that is kind of shocking thinking that now. So, I think a lot of people are peer pressured into watching it and thinking they’re not cool or they’re not up to date just because they haven’t seen it before.”

Reason #2: Accidental discovery

38% of respondents in the UK study said that they had accidentally come across it. In this age of smartphones and social media, it's easy for young people to stumble upon explicit content. The two most common ways for this type of exposure were found to be:

1. Social media feeds and chat groups, with Twitter being the most common platform for porn (more so than dedicated porn sites!).
2. Unwanted and unsolicited explicit images of peers.

Related: How Do Kids Find Porn? Top 10 Ways in 2023

Reason #3: Curiosity

Additionally, some girls may seek out explicit material to understand the mechanics of sex, or as a way to feel more confident in intimate situations. Traditional sex education primarily focuses on preventing STDs and unplanned pregnancies, but often falls short when it comes to teaching about healthy sexuality. Girls, out of their genuine curiosity, may seek explicit content to bridge the knowledge gap.

One 17-year-old girl said,  

“When they're teaching about the practical side of it, about preventing pregnancy, preventing STIs, they should also have someone there to talk to you about the emotional side of it, to talk to you and have activity ready about whether you're ready for something like that … having somebody who's kind of like, trained for it in the classroom to help them would be a good idea.”

Sadly porn will not give accurate answers to the inquiries of the emotional side of sex.

One mom opened up to Fight the New Drug to share her experience when she discovered that her 14-year-old daughter was consuming porn. She explained,

“Adolescents—both boys and girls—are curious about sex. From the beginning of time, kids have been sneaking glimpses at graphic pictures and telling explicit stories.

Yet we usually only hear about boys looking at supposedly “naughty” things, even though girls are just as curious about sex as boys. With boys, viewing porn is almost expected or seen as some kind of rite of passage. With girls, well, I don’t even know what it’s like, because our culture so rarely addresses or talks about why girls might want to look at porn.

I realized that my 14-year-old was so curious about sex that she had turned to porn for answers.”

Related: 7 Things Your Seven-Year-Old Should Know about Love and Sex

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Regular porn use for sexual pleasure

Whether a girl has viewed porn due to peer pressure, curiosity, or inadvertently, it often leads to regular porn viewing for pleasure. The Guardian reported “While parents thought their sons would watch pornography for sexual pleasure, many erroneously believed their daughters would primarily see pornography by accident. This is contrary to the qualitative research findings showing that many girls were also using pornography for sexual pleasure.”

Similarly, the results from SheRecovery detailed the regular use of girls and porn by age. 

• Age 7 or younger: 2.1%
• Age 8-12: 17.2%
• Age 13-17: 37.4%
• Age 18 or older: 43.3%

The quick math tells us that of the women who admit to watching porn, 54.6% were regularly viewing it between the ages of 8-17.

Related: Good Feelings Bad Feelings: Helping Kids Decode Pornography’s Tricky Dual Emotions

Why getting a sexual script from porn is problematic

Many young people are getting their sexual scripts from porn. However, learning about sex from porn is harmful. The landscape of explicit content has evolved alarmingly, with much of it depicting acts of aggression, coercion, and degrading content. 

• A study of 4,009 scenes from two major free pornographic ‘tube’ sites found that 45% of PornHub scenes included at least one act of aggression.
• Women were the target in 97% of the scenes that depict acts of aggression.
• Sexual violence in porn as a sexual script results in real-life acts of sexual aggression.

The British Journal of Criminology examines how “mainstream pornography positions sexual violence as a normative sexual script by analysing the video titles found on the landing pages of the three most popular pornography websites.”

It found that “1 in every 8 titles shown to first-time users on the first page of mainstream sites describe sexual activity that constitutes sexual violence.” Descriptive terms like “teen,” “schoolgirl,” and “girl” were frequently found in titles describing sexual violence.

When young people get their sexual scripts from porn, they may view sexual aggression as normal, and even desirable. The UK study illuminated this problem with many respondents saying that boys expected that girls enjoyed acts of violence and aggression. 

• 47% stated that girls ‘expect’ sex to involve physical aggression such as airway restriction or slapping.
• 42% stated that most girls ‘enjoy’ acts of sexual aggression. A greater proportion of young people stated that girls ‘expect’ or ‘enjoy’ aggressive sex more than boys do. 

The following are statements made by girls in the UK report regarding porn and sexual aggression.

“It makes boys think they can do everything they see in porn in real life. Some things like anal are everywhere in porn, but most girls don’t want to do that. Boys just think it’s normal and expect us all to do it,  and it puts pressure on us.”

        – Girl, 16, survey, first saw pornography at age 10.

“We don’t want to be choked unless we consent, not everyone wants to have anal.”

        – Girl, 19, survey, first saw pornography at age 10.

Predictably when the script for sex is violence, then violent sex acts become more commonplace. Dame Rachel de Souza, who is the Children’s Commissioner for England shared,

“Throughout my career as school-leader I have witnessed the harmful impact of pornography on young people, first-hand. I will never forget the girl who told me about her first kiss with her boyfriend, aged 12, who strangled her. He had seen it in pornography and thought it normal.”

Related: Baffling Irony! In an Age of Female Empowerment, Porn Normalizes Rape and Sexual Abuse of Women

Related: Female Friendly Porn–What It Is and Why It’s Still Harmful

Educate and inoculate your daughters

Parents must know that pornography has a pull on girls and understand the harmful consequences that it causes. Parents can positively influence their daughters’ development of a healthy sexual script by engaging in open and honest discussions about porn and sex from a young age. Here are some simple ways to get started:

• Stay informed: Stay updated on the latest trends, threats, and tools by following our articles and social media posts. Download our free guide How to Talk to Kids about Pornography. 
• Empower your girls: Equip your children with essential digital defense skills to ensure they are prepared. Start reading them the Good Pictures Bad Pictures books at the age of 3, or as soon as they have access to internet-enabled devices. 
• Keep the dialogue going: Maintain an ongoing conversation with your kids. Utilize Brain Defense: Digital Safety to help educate your children and keep the discussions flowing with conversation prompts for each engaging lesson.
• Especially for Girls: Learn about the challenges specific to girls and get practical advice and tools to combat the harmful messaging of porn. Read articles especially for girls here.

Together, we can help girls reject the toxic sexual scripts taught by porn and promote a healthy, informed approach to relationships and sexuality.

Related: Porn Harms Girls in 12 Ways: Fight Back with 3 Empowering Mindsets!