3 Gifts that Keep on Giving

It's Christmas and, for many of us, that means gifts! How many kids are looking forward to unwrapping new iPads, video game consoles or other electronics? But I wonder, which are the meaningful gifts that keep on giving throughout a lifetime? I asked my kids and they helped me identify three gifts of childhood that keep on giving. Some of their answers surprised me!

The Gift of Family Time

One of my daughters recalled how much she enjoyed watching Star Trek: The Next Generation with her dad. (Seriously! Star Trek!) As a young adult, these memories still mean love, safety and comfort to her.

Another daughter loved hearing about “cool stuff” during our family dinners like why the sky is blue or the grass is green or what her dad actually did when he went to work. (She said that most of her friends didn’t know what their parents did at work.)

Before bedtime, our family gathered to read scriptures together. We often only read a few verses before we were engaged in a discussion. Even if you don’t follow a formal faith tradition, gathering each day to share an inspiring story or encouraging thought can serve as a powerful gift that keeps on giving.

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The Gift of Down Time

A new report by the American Academy of Pediatrics says free and unstructured play is healthy for kids, and even essential, to help them develop socially, emotionally and intellectually. Play can also help kids manage stress.

Because of my son's medical needs, I couldn’t taxi my daughters to after school sports or other activities. Weekly music lessons were it! As a result, my girls enjoyed an abundance of unstructured play time.

A favorite pastime was exploring “the swamp,” a green belt behind our house that was often wet or flooded (hello, Seattle!). They loved searching for tiny tadpoles and chirping frogs, climbing trees and playing tag with friends. Inside, they played video games together.

After my son passed away, we discovered a beautiful organic farm where my kids helped to prepare the harvest for people who had purchased shares. After their work, they spent hours exploring the farm, picking blackberries that lined the Snoqualmie River, and feeding the goats and chickens.

These hours of down time for unstructured play are gifts that keep on giving.

The Gift of Listening (and Talking)

Today’s kids live in a digital world with unprecedented access to all kinds of crazy and damaging material. If our kids know they can talk to their parents about their digital world without freaking us out, those conversations are wonderful gifts that keep on giving!

My neighbor is a social worker and a devoted mom to her three sons. She advises parents to take time to listen when kids want to talk.

• For example, right after you’ve tucked them into bed, kids often want to chat about their day. Get them to bed early enough and you can take a few minutes to listen to them process what happened that day and how they feel about it.
• Another good time to listen is when kids are engaged in another activity, such as coloring, playing with Legos or having fun outdoors. This side by side chatting can be more comfortable for some kids who might freeze up in face to face conversation.

Get Started on the Gifts that Keep on Giving

For serious topics, like pornography, you may want to plan a brief discussion and make it a priority.

I recently attended a webinar by New York Times best-selling author Michael Hyatt about habits of high achievers (I was curious!). One of them is that they simply get started by doing one small action.

You can do the same thing. For ideas, check out these quick tips for starting a conversation. Every child deserves to be warned about the dangers of pornography, and I know you can do it!

Taking time to listen to your kids and planning timely talks on serious topics are gifts that keep on giving throughout their lives.

I love giving (and receiving) gifts, especially the gifts that keep on giving. In an often toxic world, those are the gifts that'll help our kids to grow up resilient and strong.

A Recent 5-Star Amazon Review of Good Pictures Bad Pictures from Liz:

“This book was great for my… son [who] was engaged and asking questions throughout this book. He was even asking to hear it again the next day! …The explanation about good and bad pictures was right on for a child to understand. Now my children will know what to do and who to tell when they see something they 'feel' is wrong, but were unsure why. Thank you!”