Surprising Reasons Why iPhones Aren't Safe for Kids: Warning from an IT Expert Mom

‍This is a guest post from Kendra O'Neill, whose expertise includes over 25 years of experience in the IT field. See Kendra's bio at the bottom of the page for more information.

Choosing a phone for your child is a big decision, and safety should be the top priority. But when it comes to safety, one popular option falls short: the iPhone. Yet the majority of parents select it for their kids. 

Despite iPhone's popularity, Apple's native parental controls, Screen Time, is notorious for suffering from more bugs, glitches, gaps, loopholes, workarounds, and well-known published hacks than any other device.

Titania Jordan, Chief Parent Officer at Bark, underscores the seriousness of these risks: 

"Apple still allows children to take and send nude photos. And I don't know what kind of world we're living in right now where it's okay for a consumer company to allow children to generate and send CSAM (child sexual abuse material) and for it to be stored in the iCloud. It's unacceptable! So I can't in good conscience recommend an Apple device, and I say this as an Apple user."

Why parents buy iPhones for their kids

The social pressure to own an iPhone is intense. With a staggering 85% of teens in the US using iPhones, some kids may face bullying and exclusion for not having one. This pressure is amplified by several minor but impactful communication limitations between iPhones and Android devices, including:

• Green vs. blue text bubbles: iPhone users see green bubbles when texting someone with an Android, which can lead to social stigma.
• Group chats: Android users can't exit or be added to existing iPhone group chats without complications.
• Emoji reactions: Emoji reactions from Android devices show up as separate texts on iPhones, and vice versa, disrupting the flow of conversation.

Sarah Werle Kimmel from Family Tech explains how these incompatibilities affect teens in How Green Messages on iPhones are Affecting Teen Mental Health.

These issues stem from Apple's refusal to adopt the newest messaging technology, known as RCS (Rich Communication Services), which is widely used by other platforms. Apple has finally agreed to adopt RCS technology, but only after facing pressure for prioritizing greed over security, child safety, and compatibility. This is due to the US Department of Justice’s antitrust lawsuit against Apple (scroll down and open the PDF to read the entire lawsuit. It’s worth your time!).

Apple has begun rolling out RCS technology to some Beta users of iOS18, with a broader rollout expected in the fall. While this adoption should solve the messaging difficulties thus solving your kid’s frustration, it doesn’t eliminate the issues parents face with parental controls.

The critical importance of content monitoring and alerting

Most parents underestimate how crucial content monitoring and alerting are in protecting their kids from risks like predators, sharing nudes, and exposure to pornography. 

It’s not just about what your child might seek out; it’s also about how others—strangers and predators —can gain access to them. Parental controls should go beyond restricting your child’s digital activity to actively protecting them from external threats.

Top-notch content monitoring helps catch and alert you to risks your child encounters, or any loopholes that others might exploit to access your child.

Even the most well-behaved, rule-following, trustworthy kids—those who get good grades, have open and honest relationships with their parents, and come from great families—can become victims of online predators.

Apple Screen Time leaves numerous loopholes (more on that below), and no parent can effectively monitor a child's digital activity manually. Comprehensive software is essential for thorough protection, offering far more than just an overview of time spent online. Unfortunately, many parents regret not being warned about the limitations and deficits of Apple’s parental controls.

One parent lamented:

“We chose a kid-safe phone for our son. After a while of being left out of group chats because of the blue/green bubble thing and some other compatibility issues, we decided to switch and get him an iPhone. Unfortunately, the group chats he was now included in were filled with inappropriate content that we couldn’t control. Friends sent inappropriate screen recordings and screenshots. Locker room talk was rife. Buying an iPhone was the worst decision I made.”

To understand iPhones limitations, let’s first look at the base controls.

Related: How the Average Kid Gets Sex Trafficked: Top 6 Ways to Protect Them

Base level of parental controls: iPhone vs. Android

Both Apple and Android devices offer base-level parental controls—Apple Screen Time and Google Family Link, respectively. These tools set basic restrictions but leave significant gaps that require third-party apps to fill.

Apple Screen Time: While Screen Time provides app limits and content restrictions, it has loopholes. For instance, blocked YouTube access might still be available through other apps or browsers like iMessage. Screen Time also lacks robust monitoring and alerting functions, meaning parents won’t be notified of many concerning activities.

Google Family Link: Similarly, Google Family Link offers basic controls for Android devices, but also doesn’t cover all potential threats, nor does it  monitor and provide alerts. Like Screen Time, it requires additional layers of protection to ensure a safe online experience for children. Especially because it allows children to opt out at age 13!

Why iPhones aren’t safe for kids

There’s a hidden issue with the iPhone that parents need to know about: it wasn't designed with kids’ safety in mind! This isn't to bash iPhones...they work well for adults! However, they aren’t geared towards children. 

The problem is Apple values user privacy over child safety.

Apple Screen Time bugs and glitches

‍Apple Screen Time is notoriously problematic when it comes to parental controls being reliable. There's a current Apple bug occurring since October 2022 that affects some/all controls, some/all of the time, without parents’ knowledge.

The controls appear to be working but they're not. There's no way for parents to be sure because it's so inconsistent it's extremely difficult to replicate/troubleshoot. 

Here are a few examples of bugs and glitches parents face regularly with Screen Time controls:

• Blocking loopholes: Apple Screen Time often appears to block access but leaves loopholes kids can exploit. For example, parents might think they’ve blocked YouTube, but many platforms, especially YouTube, are more complex.
  
  Screen Time can't fully block access, leaving open points that kids can easily find, and parents won’t be alerted due to the lack of monitoring and alerting functions.
  
  
• “One more minute” glitch: The well-known "one more minute glitch" has been frustrating parents for quite some time. This bug in Apple’s Screen Time allows kids to bypass app time limits set by their parents by repeatedly selecting the "one more minute" option, effectively extending their screen time far beyond what was intended.
  
  
• Downloading previously installed apps: Parents may choose to remove an app from their child’s device for various reasons. Unfortunately with the iPhone, a user can redownload the app without parental permission if it has been previously installed. One way around this is to completely disable the App Store. Parents can also delete these apps from family shared purchases but many parents don't know how to do this and some experience bugs with this feature not working. It’s important to note there are other ways kids are reinstalling apps as well!
  
  
• Screen Time control failures. Screen Time controls often don’t remain in place anytime one of the devices (parent or child) needs an update, if they're operating on different versions, if an update just occurred, etc. Oftentimes all parental controls become non-existent when any of these occur.

For more information see PC Mag’s 6 Ways Kids Are Getting Around Parental Controls on Apple's Screen Time.

Why 3rd party apps are essential—and why they don’t work well on iPhones

To truly protect children, these base-level controls need to be supplemented with more robust parental controls and monitoring software. Third-party apps like Bark offer the comprehensive features necessary to monitor content, alert parents to potential dangers, and close the gaps left by the built-in controls. However, Apple’s iOS poses significant challenges for these apps.

• Compatibility issues: Apple’s strict security protocols make it difficult for third-party apps to access the deeper levels of control and monitoring required to better protect children. Unlike Android, which allows third-party apps to integrate more seamlessly, iPhones limit what these apps can do.
  
  This often leaves parents with incomplete protection, as critical features like content monitoring and alerting may not work as intended. You'll notice the features of parental control apps often vary between iPhones and Androids in terms of what they can protect.
  
  
• Monitoring limitations: Apple limits how third party content monitoring software operates on their devices. For example, all such software, including Bark, must be run on a PC or MAC connected to the home WiFi 24/7 to monitor an iPhone due to Apple’s restrictions. This setup acts as a server because Apple doesn’t allow direct access to the device.
  
  While other companies may not advertise this limitation, Bark does and provides a workaround with their Bark Home device which can be used in place of a constantly running PC or Mac. However, monitoring still only works when the iPhone is connected to the home WiFi. Once the device disconnects, monitoring ceases until it reconnects, allowing for potential time-sensitive activities to go undetected.
  
  During this time things can be deleted, time sensitive alerts will be missed, etc. Once the device reconnects, it scans for activity since the last scan and then alerts the parents. Some parents have found mirroring the iPhone to an iPad that stays on the WiFi 24/7 can work but this is not going to be 100% effective and it's a “hack" that I wouldn't recommend parents rely on, as there will still be more loopholes to worry about with Apple devices.

This limitation of the iPhone was highlighted by a divorced mom who shared a concerning experience with Bark’s monitoring on her daughter’s iPhone. 

“Because Bark’s effectiveness on iPhones relies on the device being connected to the home network, it couldn’t scan for issues when my daughter was at her dad’s house during his parenting time. By the time she returned to my home and Bark resumed monitoring, the alerts had become mostly irrelevant due to the time that had passed.”

In situations that require immediate attention such as suicide, nudes, sextortion, and bullying, this delay could be dangerous.

Related: 7 Essential Rules for New Tech to Safeguard Your Child

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The challenges of monitoring apps and platforms

Websites, apps, and platforms each have their own settings that must be properly configured. Social media platforms present additional challenges because many limit what parental software can monitor and access. For example, many platforms only allow access to direct chats or text, not pictures, and Apple’s security measures further restrict and complicate this.

‍As a result, access to apps like Discord, Snapchat, TikTok, Skype, and Roblox on iPhones and Apple devices is restricted, making them difficult to monitor. In contrast, Android devices, including the Bark phone, don’t face these issues and can be monitored as much as the platforms allow.

Phones are the most complex devices to “lock down" and protect 

Phones are some of the most complex devices to secure due to the multiple layers of settings including:

• Device
• Operating system
• Platform
• Carrier
• Network
• ISP
• Accounts
• Sites
• Apps

All of these systems require specific controls. Without proper protection at each level, there will be gaps and loopholes that leave children vulnerable to pornography, predators, sharing nudes, and other digital risks. 

Third party parental control apps can help, but this complexity is why phones specifically designed for kids, such as the Bark phone, Pinwheel, and Gabb are considered the safest options because their controls are built directly into these systems. 

Related: Filtering 101: Protect Kids From Porn on New Devices

Safest phones for kids: Different strengths for different needs

• The Bark phone: The Bark Phone offers parents full control, including access to a browser and apps if desired and includes comprehensive monitoring and alerting capabilities. Utilizing a Samsung Galaxy phone, it provides deep integration at multiple levels, including carrier control, making it versatile for children up to 18 years old.
  
  The Bark phone also comes with a subscription to the Bark app, which should be installed on all devices your child accesses as a secondary layer of protection. Additionally, the Bark Home device can be plugged into your current router (or you can use a Vilo router with Bark Home built in) to protect your entire home WiFi network, including devices that can’t have parental software installed, such as smart TVs, gaming consoles, school-issued devices, and even “burner” devices. The Bark Home device also serves as a workaround for some of Apple’s major limitations.
  
  
• Pinwheel: Pinwheel is a solid choice for a full access phone, offering a browser and all apps. While it doesn’t come with filtering or built-in monitoring and alerts, the Bark app can be added to provide comprehensive controls.
  
  
• MMGuardian: MMGuardian also provides a full access phone with a browser and all apps, and it includes monitoring and alerts. However, it covers fewer apps compared to Bark.
  
  Note: Neither Pinwheel nor MMGuardian have carrier-level control. This means you can add them to whatever carrier you like, however, they lack that extra layer of control.
  
  
• Gabb: Gabb offers two options. The Gabb Phone is ideal for younger kids, with no internet browser and limited apps, ensuring basic communication and safety. The Gabb Phone 4 Pro adds more flexibility for teens 14 and up, offering over 350 apps, Safe Video Calling, and Gabb Messenger with filtration and alerts for nudity. It keeps browsers and social media off the phone. Like Bark, Gabb also maintains carrier level control.
  
  
• Troomi: Similar to Gabb,Troomi offers curated apps. It also offers a safe browser, and monitors and alerts parents to concerning text messages. It maintains carrier level control.
  
  
• Android with Family Link and Bark. If the other options aren't viable for your situation, the alternative would be a regular android with Google Family Link as the base layer protection and the Bark app as the secondary layer. Google Family Link and the Bark app work hand in hand to cover multiple levels of settings, and provide content monitoring and alerting. Even still, there will be gaps and loopholes that remain; however, it is a much safer option than an iPhone. 

Each phone offers unique strengths, suitable for different family needs and approaches to digital safety. For a detailed comparison, see What's the Best Phone for Kids? Our Ultimate Comparison Guide

What about the iPhone? 

iPhones don't make the list as a “safe" option for minors, even though they work well for adults. By now it should be clear why they aren’t safe for kids. To recap:

• Apple Screen Time, like any base layer protection (Google family link, MS Family Safety, Amazon Kids), can only reach so far with its controls. All regular devices require a secondary, 3rd party layer of protection. 
• Apple doesn't cooperate with 3rd party monitoring software and doesn't allow full access to thoroughly protect, control, monitor, and alert as needed the same way Androids can. 
• Apple controls what parents can monitor and when. 

This is extremely concerning because content monitoring and alerting is absolutely necessary in providing comprehensive protection.

iPhone parental control essentials

Due to Apple’s popularity, parents will continue to purchase them for their kids. It’s imperative that parents understand Apple’s limitations and supplement it with the following additional layers of protection (acknowledging the limitations):

• Apple Screen Time, plus 
• Bark monitoring software, plus 
• Bark Home device. 

All homes should have protection at the router level. One great option is the Bark Home device. If your current router isn't compatible, consider using a Vilo router with Bark Home built-in.

Digital safety is more important than social status

‍All devices, platforms, and systems have their challenges and loopholes, but Apple’s extensive limitations further complicate things, making them especially appealing to kids. While issues like green vs. blue text bubbles and group chat limitations may seem significant, they are truly minor compared to the need for safety. Prioritizing your child's safety over these inconveniences is crucial for their well-being.

The bottom line is it’s essential to:

• choose the safest phone that makes sense for your budget, 
• implement proper protections with content monitoring and alerting, and 
• layer multiple levels of protection across all devices. 

These steps eliminate as many gaps and loopholes as possible, ensuring your child is safer in an increasingly complex online world.