Sextortion Scams and Teen Suicide: One Father's Urgent Warning

If you’re like most parents, you can’t imagine that a sextortion scam could trap your kid. But with scammers using AI bots to exponentially multiply their reach, it’s time to pay attention.

Today we’re sharing the heartbreaking story of Jordan DeMay, plus 10 tips to keep your kid safer from an online threat that is driving kids to suicide.

 A father's heartbreak: The sextortion scam story of Jordan DeMay

Jordan DeMay was a happy 17-year-old, just weeks away from his 18th birthday. Standing six foot two, he was an all-star basketball, baseball, and football player —outgoing, athletic, and beloved by many. Because of his popularity, Jordan was the perfect target.

The DeMays’ world turned upside down when sextortionists targeted Jordan, leading to a devastating outcome that is a parent’s worst nightmare. With the pain still fresh in his voice, Jordan’s dad, John DeMay, recalls that morning vividly:

"We were supposed to leave for a Florida vacation for two weeks, and Jordan had his bags packed on the bed, ready to go. I woke up and found him in his bedroom with a gunshot wound to his head. 

"And so as you can imagine, we were all pretty shocked....Why? What happened? This happy kid who was ready to go to Florida— was gone.” 

The dark world of sextortion scams

Two days after Jordan’s death, a photo emerged—one that revealed the terrible truth behind what happened to him. Jordan had been extorted after sharing an explicit image in an Instagram DM, believing he was exchanging messages with a girl named Dani Roberts. The DeMay’s contacted local detectives. John explains:

“They immediately knew what it was as they see these cases all the time. Our local detective tried for a search warrant under Meta’s emergency portal. That request was denied. Our detective partnered with the FBI right away which re-submitted the warrants through that same emergency portal. Two days later, we got the entire transcript of what happened.”

“Dani” was actually a man from Nigeria. Along with others, he pressured Jordan for money after getting him to send a compromising picture. One youthful mistake late at night set a horrible trap.

Once the FBI got involved the full extent of the crime was clear. These sextortionists were part of a larger criminal organization operating out of Nigeria, and they had targeted not just Jordan, but over a hundred other teens. 

We need to emphasize this fact: sextortion scams are being operationalized by gangs, often in Nigeria, and are run like large call centers. Operators need little education to use social media, tested scripts, and AI chatbots to find and engage with vulnerable teens.

Several individuals were arrested, including six Nigerian men taken into custody in Nigeria. Three faced charges in the U.S.— two were extradited, pleaded guilty, and  were recently sentenced to 17.5 years in federal prison. The third still remains in Nigeria fighting his extradition. 

In addition to Nigerian operatives, five U.S. citizens were indicted for laundering money in connection with these scams. They helped convert payments into cryptocurrency and transferred funds to Nigerian accounts, further enabling these criminal enterprises.

But for John, the justice system can’t heal the loss. He explains why he went public with Jordan’s story: 

“Our community was devastated after Jordan died. Nobody could understand why he would do that. We discovered that he didn't kill himself. He was literally murdered in his bedroom at three o'clock in the morning, six hours after his first Instagram message. And his mother and I, and my wife and my family, decided we needed to let the community know this stuff is going on— because it's happening. And obviously they're continuing to do it because other teens are getting messages after Jordan died." 

Social media companies' role in sextortion scams

John also calls out social media companies for enabling these scams, pointing out that they are fully aware of the criminal activity on their platforms. Despite having the technology to implement safeguards, they choose not to act, largely due to the immunity granted by Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act. This legal shield protects tech companies from civil or criminal liability.

While public outcry remains one of the few ways to pressure these platforms, it has not yet led to meaningful change in how they address the issue.

Related: 'You have blood on your hands!' 5 Big Tech CEOs Grilled by Senate for Child Exploitation

Every kid on social media is being targeted by sextortion scams

John’s message to other parents is clear: this can happen to any kid. He warns:

“I was at a law enforcement conference recently, and I'm hearing that literally every teenager— every single teenager— on social media, is being targeted for this type of crime. Every single one. 

"So if you're a parent and think your kids are not being targeted, you're wrong. You're wrong. It's just a matter of how much they bite into it. They're getting the fake requests. These hacked accounts are reaching out to them— whether your teens are deleting the requests, accepting friend requests and then communicating before shutting it down, or even sending them money. They don't tell you if they're sending pictures, and they don't tell you what’s really happening. It's from one end of that spectrum all the way to the other, but every single teenager is being targeted.” 

The FBI reports victims are typically males between the ages of 14-17, but any child can become a victim. CBS News reported kids as young as 9 years old have been targeted.

Related: Surgeon General's Warning! Social Media Poses "Profound Risk of Harm" to Children and Adolescents

A devastating trend in sextortion scams

Sextortion cases are exponentially growing, and the numbers are alarming. Paul Raffile, a threat intelligence analyst who has studied the trend, reported his shocking findings, titled A Digital Pandemic to The Network Contagion Research Institute. He explains:

“The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) received 139 reports of sextortion targeting minors in 2021. By 2023 that number had jumped to 26,000. That’s an 18,000% increase in just two years."

The Yahoo Boys and sextortion scams

The criminals behind these sextortion scams, known as the "Yahoo Boys," have turned sextortion into a profitable business, particularly in places like Nigeria. They openly share tactics and scripts online, offering detailed step-by-step guides on how to launch a sextortion scam. These include strategies for targeting teens, engaging with young men, and using proven scripts to apply intense pressure and maximize victims' payments.

Paul Raffile discovered these scripts are widely circulated on platforms like TikTok and YouTube, where they’ve garnered hundreds of thousands of views. In fact, the script used on Jordan DeMay the night he died had been available on YouTube for two years.

Paul’s report details how this scam works:

• Criminals often target specific high schools or sports teams and send follow requests to an entire team or group (called bombing), using fake profiles. These accounts appear more credible because they have "mutual friends"—other students or teammates—which makes teens more likely to accept the request. Once they’ve connected, the sextortionists manipulate their victims into sending explicit photos.
  
  
• The moment an Instagram user accepts the follow request of a scam account, their follower/following list is compromised. This gives criminals easy access to the target’s followers and following lists to use as blackmail, threatening to send the compromising photos to all these acquaintances. Then they use screenshots of the victim’s friend list to blackmail them, threatening to send the compromising images to everyone they know. With Instagram’s current configuration, users have no way to protect themselves against their followers and following lists being copied the instant they accept a follow request.”

In some cases, sextortionists use AI nudifying apps to alter existing photos posted to social media to sextort their victims.

The sad reality is that even when victims pay, the sextortionists often continue with their demands or release the photos anyway. It’s a relentless and vicious cycle. (See tips below for what victims of sextortion should do.)

How kids pay sextortion scammers

‍Many kids are too scared or ashamed to tell anyone they're being victimized, so they pay the extortionists to try and make the threats stop. Some of the most common payment methods include:

• Gift cards (iTunes, XBox, Amazon, etc.)
• Cryptocurrency 
• Peer to peer payment apps (CashApp, Apple Pay, Venmo, etc.)

FBI and Law Enforcement involvement

Jordan’s case became the first in U.S. history where sextortion scammers were extradited from Nigeria. FBI Director Christopher Wray has been directly involved in building relationships with Nigerian officials to combat this growing crisis. These international efforts are crucial to not only bring the criminals to justice but also to prevent future cases.

Paul regularly updates the number of confirmed teen suicides due to sextortion on his LinkedIn account. The current total is 39 in the last 24 months—including one as young as thirteen. This heartbreaking statistic highlights the urgency of addressing this digital pandemic.

[[CTA]]

What can parents do to prevent this from happening to their child?

It’s terrifying to think about, but there are steps parents can take. John emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries for your kids online and staying involved in their digital lives. 

He drives this home with a striking comparison:

"Would you let your 14-year olds run around in a strip club? Probably not. You probably shouldn't let them run around on Instagram and Facebook either, because, to be honest, that [local] strip club is probably more secure than social media is. Just think about that before you hand the entire world to your 14-year old daughter or son to go sit in their room by themselves.”

He also encourages open communication, even when it’s uncomfortable. He urges:

“Talk to your kids about these dangers, no matter how awkward or uncomfortable. You need to be the responsible parent.”

We at Defend Young Minds agree with setting boundaries and having open communication. Here are ten of our best tips.

1. Delay social media. The Surgeon General has called for a warning label on social media, and recommends waiting until at least age 16 to use it. Paul Raffile shared that Meta, Instagram’s parent company, recently deleted 63,000 sextortion accounts linked to Nigeria. Let that sink in. Social media is not a place for kids.
2. Keep communication open. Talk to your kids about sextortion and make sure they feel safe coming to you if something happens. Teach them why sharing nudes is harmful.
3. Use parental controls. Know what apps your kids are using and filter them with software such as Canopy or Bark.
4. Only accept friend requests from known people. If your child is on social media, teach them to never accept friend requests from people they don’t know in real life. And to be careful to check the friend’s profile to make sure it’s not a fake copy. (They can see how many posts and how many friends and compare it with the real account or profile.) Accepting friend requests without verification not only puts them at risk, but also makes their entire friend list vulnerable to sextortionists.
5. Teach online safety. Brain Defense digital safety course can help you. It’s easy to use and addresses the digital dangers your child will face.
6. Limit where devices are used. Don’t let kids take their phones into private spaces like bedrooms or bathrooms.
7. Teach them to build an internal filter. Help them develop the skills to make safe and smart choices online.
8. Be proactive. Regularly revisit online safety conversations and update digital agreements. Brain Defense has 10 Continue the Conversation prompts that are easy to use.
9. Start the conversation early! Use Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-proofing Today’s Young Kids and Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr.: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds to start these conversations early, in a gentle, age-appropriate way.
10. Download our free Digital Safety Planner. This digital guide is packed with practical advice on filters & parental controls, how to supervise online activity, and tips for starting important conversations. Step-by-step you can fortify your family's defenses against pornography, predators and other online dangers.

What victims of sextortion scams should do

Victims of sextortion scams should not engage with the blackmailer. According to Raffile’s report, here are the steps victims should take:

• Block the criminal
• Report the account 
• Do not pay
• Do not continue contact 
• Save any evidence for law enforcement by taking screenshots of conversations
• Deactivate (not delete) the accounts where criminals contact you 
• Speak with a supportive parent, friend, or trusted adult to get help through this process 
• Report the incident to authorities listed below

In the United States, you can report to the FBI’s cybercrime portal. Minors can make a report to NCMEC’s Cypertipline. You can also contact the FBI Field Office nearest you or the NCMEC 24/7 hotline at 800-843-5678. For help removing nude images from the internet, visit NCMEC’s Take it Down service.

Awareness and prevention

John and his family are determined to spread awareness about sextortion, hoping to prevent other families from experiencing the same pain. What keeps him going is the hope that by sharing Jordan’s story, other families might be spared the same tragedy.

The reality is, sextortion scams are a growing epidemic, and it’s not going away on its own. While lawmakers and tech companies are working to mitigate the crime, parents are the first line of defense. It’s crucial to start conversations with your kids now and equip them with an internal filter to recognize and avoid these scams.

You may not be able to eliminate these risks entirely, but by staying informed and taking the steps above, you can keep your child safer from sextortion scams.

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please seek help. The US National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24/7 by calling or texting 988.